I was just thinking... getting older is so confusing sometimes.
We are tirelessly preached at by movies, books, music, and our friends to throw away any concept we previously had of young adulthood and just do it "our way"... yet really, we'd be persecuted if we did. For example, I am the sort of teenager (and I'm probably an extreme minority) that is quite stingy with my money as far as extra clothes or makeup, and yet would instantly blow $20+ on a Build-A-Bear Kermit the Frog. Or forego eating out+Starbucks to buy a Doctor Who series boxset with my sister. Both of which I did over the past two glorious days. And I've no idea how to feel. Should I be happy with my nerdy investments and just enjoy the heck outta them, not caring about how I might appear? Or should I be properly ashamed of not getting that summer dress that I seem to "need"... all for some childish stuff?
In my mind, I tend to be a very decided person. My opinions are sharp and clear, when no one can hear them but myself. However, too often once they hit the open air they curl up with fright and melt into what our culture deems acceptable, without a chance to explain. Fear of man, this is commonly called.
In my mind, being a nerd is just a part of me and I can't really shake it. Why, I ought to embrace it and have fun with it, as I would my new Kermit. ;) But out there... I'm immature.
Oh what to do.
I suppose it's first step first. Get rid of my fear of man, and then see what creature emerges from the silly human that is me.
